Living in a life with pain and suffering, fear and evil, had to be. It could not be avoided. Life came out of water. Everything that was ever made, that has ever been done or said, began with water. The root of our pain and suffering, our fear and our battlle facing evil, is to be found in water. Not in the pond in your backyard, not in an ocean, but water as it existed in outer space, some 10.000 years ago. To be more specific: when nothing had happened yet. 

Each drop of water has eight elements in a certain quantity. LIke a pie has ingredients in certain quantities, the quantities you can read in a recipe. So much flour, so much water, so many eggs, and so on. If you use the same ingredients, in the quantities that will make a great pie, than you'll end up with same pie over and over again. 

The energy of life faced the same problem. The quantities of elements were set. Lots of carbon, lots of calcium, less iron and sand, but in comparising small amounts of blue, yellow and salt. In this regard, small is relative. You don't wanna eat the amount of blue as it can be found in a vast amount of water. Knowing this, it's a given that the quantities could'nt be changed. It could be changed, but that would have altered everything. Nothing that exists would've come into being. The energy of life was tied up. It had to let happen, what wanted to happen, exactly as it happened. T

The energy of life had no influence at all? 

The energy of could feel how to create. For example: to create natural gas with ideal properties, a cave was needed, but a cave that has perfect measurements. The length, the width and the height. All to a tee. Wile creating this planet, the energy of life felt exact how large the cave needed to be and so creating a cave, leaving out elements like carbon and sand, leaving out creating more rock, thus leaving a large space we came call cave. 

The energy of life adapted to what it could play with. If it does'nt fit, use something that does fit. Or you make sure that you give life formes a chance to make sence of it all, in the same fashion the energy of life created it all. So, start feeling.  

In essence humans are a simple life from. More clearly: humans are animals. Thus we behave like animals and in the most literal meaning of the word. In the old days life was simple: eat, sleep and reproduce. Piece of cake, so it seems. If there was'nt a catch. 

Humans have the means to feel. But humans in their purest form don't possess the means to process much. Humans kept feeling to a minimum. They were not interessted in what being sad is, they were not compelled if the next human felt rejected. They could feel it, they could respond to it, being compelled, but they simply did'nt understand, and it's sad to say, but we still don't. I've said it before, there is a catch. A catch that is haunting us. 

The feeling of being threatened. 

The irony is that our vocabulary has a vast range of words to discribe how we are feeling, but there is only one feeling we can feel for ac fact: being threatened, and it's that feeling that causes us to survive. Because it's as if we're facing an enemy. Every second in our life it seems as if there is something lurking to harm us. I, myself, cought myself thinking that any person at any given moment could point a gun at me. Perhaps it was the surrealism of my thaught that made me aware that it was nuts to think that everyone at town square, were i was at the time, would carry a gun. Later in life it showed me how i was observing daily life around me, with my body as a hide away, a trench, being alert to anything suspicious. 

In the old days surviving served as a need. Bears, wolves and gorilla's were no jokes. Neither were weather circumstances when it really came down or if it was chilling us to the bone. Nowadays threat has a multitude of faces. The feeling of threat can be caused by anyone and anything. But if we fail to recognize it, to identify it and to understand it, panic rises, confusion increases and that enhances the feeling of threat even more.   

In modern day life survival governs our lifes. The reasons to survive seems endless, just because we're feeling threatened. If that remains not understood, the feeling of threat could apply to almost anything. Not making a deadline is an easy to understand fact that could risk your job, but even a tiny part of your own personal being could force you to keep it alive, to let it survive. 

Let me give you a few examples. Your job interview, and if you've landed the job, your new job. Money: each workday waking up at seven to drag yourself to work. To make money. Every month calculating if you can make ends meet, because you know what will happen if ends don't meet.  No food, not able to pay your energy bill, not able to pay for the education of your child, so he or she has a good change to persue a job and make it survive, just like you do. During working hours trying to fit in with your colleagues in more than an attempt to survive, because being good with your colleagues is a major part of a great work enverioment. 

Even your place in your own family can be a cause to survive. You live under one roof with your parents and siblings. Leaving room for your family members, reconsile their being and status, your privacy limited to your bedroom, if your lucky. In cases were mom needs to give more attention to a brother or sister who is disabled, you lack your moms attention, and if your the youngest you find having to fight for your own being (that one is an example of animalistic behaviour, having to prove yourself at age five, knowing that your brother is ten years older than you). 

The real threat lives inside you. It is not your brother. It is not the idea of losing your job. I lost mine once due to reorganisation. Not my fault. I did my job to the best of my abilities, the CEO had other reasons to sack me. The irony is that the feeling of threat has it to make us upset and stressed out, but it is also the way to find all your answers.    

Life spins around surviving, fighting an enemy you can't fight with guns, an enemy you cannot out run. The lack of understanding lets you believe that the enemy is out there. You can't identify it. You think you can, wich can lead to bullying, to exessive drinking or using drugs and to domestic violence. Anyone or anything could be or can be an enemy.

But the real enemy is you. 

In life you're so busy surviving that you work against yourself. It's as life is an endless sportsevent. Your trying desperatly to win in many ways, only to lose yourself in the process. You're abandoning yourself, you're betraying yourself, humiliating yourself and rejecting yourself. You do it every time you tell a lie. You do it every time you stand up for yourself. You do it when you're mad, being jaleous, being greedy or scrooge, you do it when you're embarressed. 

Why, you ask.

Because it is not who you really are. Remember the first part in this section? Being created and dumped on this planet, surrounded by pain and suffering, fear and evil. Do you still want that? No? There you are. That's the real you. 

I'm not gonna tell you who you really are. Not the specifics, not the properties, not what defines who you really are. That's for you, to feel, to discover. In stead i will explain what you are in general. 

Remember my explanation in the section called Home? The explanation about the 8 billion creations? The drops of water shooting out of the fifth layer from a huge lumb of ice, a planet in the making? The drops becoming a ball of autonomic energy? What in its essence happened was what happened when the energy of life, the child, created itself. Not only did it create itself, as a matter it hugely used itself to create. Or more precise: it created itself again and again to create. Remember explaning about creating one bubble of air and inside another bubble of air. In that process the energy of life, the child, created itself again and again. And it did it once more after you, a drop of water, got shot in outer space, out of layer five of a lumb of ice, a planet in the making.

That means that you are a small portion of the energy of life. It means that you are a child energy, a playing child. Now, now that you know this, does a four year old child seem to have any business with hating, with prejudging, with violence? Yes, it can very well put up a tantrum, if it wants something and a child does'nt get it. A child has to depend on others, his/her parents mostly, or his or her teacher at school. It screams his/her head of when he/she did number one or two in his/her diaper. He of she cannot provide his/herself with what it needs, so he/she had to find a way to draw attention. But only for personal needs. 

Never will a child be obnoxious, arrogant or a pain in the you know were. It can feel as such being a parent, but to the child it's his/her strategy to survive. HIs/her real being is a playing child, creating, with bright colors. Look at drawings, with colors were a child felt they had to be. Green sky, red trees or a purple sun, who cares? Not a child. Even if a child gets wacked in the face, it will even keep on playing with the child who just wacked him/her, even if it was intentional, because deep down there is the notion that he/she was the cause of it. A child does'nt care about skin color, about religion or a disabilty. It tends to play with everyone. After all it is a child, having fun, making fun, creating. May i ask what you've been doing lately, being a so called grown up? I rest my case. 

 

The first humans were grown ups. They did'nt grew up. They did'nt have parents. They did'nt have a childhood. They had to learn how to walk as a grown up. They were brought to live in a random moment of their lives, or so it seems. In reality it was their first moment in life, like a newly born baby. As if they had woken up out of an endless sleep. 

Imagine how that must have been. You let out a yell, because you woke up with a shock, you open up your eyes and for the first time you're observing the world around you. You see things you've never seen before. As if you had gone to sleep on planet X and now had woken up on this planet. You just don't know what to think of it. You don't understand any of it. 

Than you meet other living organisms. Realise that the first encounter with other life forms might not have been the same for man B compared to the expirience of woman C. The man may have met another man or woman, the woman may have met a bear or an beaver. No matter what it was for each man or each woman, it must have felt like an adventure. 

Imagine seeing a living organism similar to what you are. Kind of like looking into a mirror, meaning that what you see is having a lot of features that you have. At least exterial, since observing another human did'nt got much further than the outlining. Imagine having no grasp of your own being, not even knowing WHAT you are, let alone WHO you are. 

Can you imagine how scary the world must have been for the first humans? That the only notion they had was fear? To take man and beast with caution? To take nothing for granted? That everything opposed a threat until otherwise was proven, understood? 

Luckily, in present day things are different.

Or are they? 

I'm afraid that things are'nt that much different than ever before. Humanity is still not capable to grasp life, himself or the world in wich he lives and in wich everything is taking place. The first humans and humans long after the first humans, still living freely and naked in nature, used the feeling of being threatened to survive. The feeling worked like an alarm. Humans still do it. They tend to call it intuition, but it's that feeling of threat, warning us about whatever troubling is coming our way. If we only would know what that feeling has to say, wants to tell us. It does'nt. It's a warning, but we don't know what it is warning us for. 

It's exactly that, that keeps us roaming around. It's that, that keeps us on our toes. It's that, that keeps us living like an animal. That is why we keep on surviving. It is that what keeps us having troubles with laws and rules. Why? Think of the following. 

Imagine that the men are coming back form long day of hunting. They caught a number of prey. The women collected a variety of fruits and nuts. The elderly and children are provided. The elderly are respected, children are the furture of man. The grown ups in the herd are forced to help themselfs. Every man for himself, or herself. Now ask yourself this: would it help to stand in line for a piece of meat? Would it help if you would wait until it's your turn? Not a chance. That's why we don't like laws and rules. It feels as if to wait in line for what basically is up for grabs. It clashes with our need to survive. Granted, we wait in line at the cash register. But do you like it? Do you have a ball waiting at a red light? The reason is that life around you goes on and you're standing still. It's as if you fall behind, as if you could be to late to grab your piece of meat that the men brought in after a long day of hunting. Perhaps one of the men who have been hunting is you. How would it feel if you've been busting your backside all day and you fail to collect your piece of meat? That's when you wanna send laws and rules to kingdome come. 

It's that, that leaves us live in a way that questions if it's wise, healthy or if it's hazzardous, for ourselfs or others. The irony is that fast driving is one of things man does because he feels being threatened, but he risks survival by driving fast. It shows that our inert need to survive, only gets us into more trouble, forcing us to survive even more. It's a never ending story, that can only end if man learns to understand life, the world and himself.